Hidan and Kakuzu: How it All Began
by The Cosmic Serpent
Summary: This is the story of how Hidan met Kakuzu. Its inspired by Hidans OFFICIAL databook entry, where it says that Hidan seeked out Kakuzu as a sort of guide regarding his immortality before Hidan was ever in the akatsuki. I wrote this story like how I think they actually would have met, and it is very realistic. I added a few characters, but don't worry, they're likable.


Hidan, recently detesting the over-orderly ways of his village, was seeking to leave the village in order to cause more chaos in the ninja world. He needed a partner though, one who could help him with his immortality. His jashinist elders had scolded him in the past for being to reckless, and hidan figured they were probably right. He needed to find another immortal to partner with. His real search began when he met a mysterious man he one day decided to follow.  
It happened when Hidan was sitting on the steps outside of his village's shinobi office where missions are distributed and assigned. He has just been yelled at for not taking as many missions as he should. Missions did not interest him.  
A strange man caught his eye. He was wearing a tall pointed hat and a robe.  
"Man, what in the hell is this guy wearing. With that choice of outfit someone could mistake him for a wizard, let alone shinobi. Ch, what a fucking clown. Hey, he's pretty shifty eyed too, how suspicious. Well, I AM supposed to sacrifice regularly to Jashin-sama. Maybe this guy could be interesting game," he thought.  
Hidan proceeded to follow him stealthily. The man and walked up to a door on the side of a large building. There is a mens bathroom sign on it. He looked both ways as not to be seen, and entered. He did not notice Hidan.  
"A bathroom? Ch. That doesn't make sense. Seriously, that guy looked too suspicious earlier to just be heading to a bathroom. Oh well, maybe this is just one of his stops. Everyone has to take a piss sometime," he thought.  
Hidan follows him into the bathroom. The man pushes open a hidden door in the wall next to a urinal.  
"Hah! Knew it. What is this asshole's secret?..." he thought.  
Hidan peeked into the room trying not to be seen. It looked (and smelled) as though it were a place that held cadavers, or dead bodied, like how a hospital would, but it was way too small and secretive to be a hospital. What was this place? There was another man in the room. In Hidan's eyes, the only thing interesting about the second guy was that he was bald and fat.  
"You don't have a body for me this time, huh, Kintaro," said the fat man.  
"No… I came back because I lost my bingo book," said Kintaro.  
"Ah, that's no good. You're just in time too, we just received the latest copy…" he said as he handed the bingo book over to Kintaro. And Kintaro turned to leave, but was stopped.  
"Not so fast! That will be 100,000 yen," said the fat man.  
Kintaro looked down at the book, then up at the man. "You honestly think I'm going to pay that much for a few pieces of paper?"  
"Ch. Sinners, the both of em. Money is ungodly. When I'm done with that Kintaro clown, I'll come back for the fat man," Hidan thought while listening to the two of them.  
"Well yes, how do you suppose I make my money," the fat man pleaded.  
Kintaro walked over to the fat man, grips his collar, and lifted him off of the ground. He leaned in close to his face.  
"I'd sooner kill you then spend a SINGLE yen,"  
"No, please, have mercy! I'm not a shinobi, I'm defenseless!"  
Kintaro dropped him to the floor. He grasped his neck and breathed heavily.  
"I will spare your miserable life this time, but I warn you, I have a short temper that is not to be taken lightly."  
The man began to sweat and tremble. "Thank you… Thank you… I apologize…"  
Kintaro turned and walked towards the exit. Noticing this, Hidan quickly turned around and ran out of the door.  
"Well… that was interesting. I might as well introduce myself to the bastard now if I'm going to kill him. Heh," Hidan thought.  
Kintaro walked out of the door, and looked at Hidan, who was standing a few feet to the left of him.  
"Oi, you there," Hidan said somewhat cockily, pointing at Kintaro.  
Kintaro narrowed his eyes at the white-headed oaf. "I see you've just been spying on me. What is it you want?"  
"Well, I was thinking. And I have decided that you are nothing but a dirty-ass sinner. I think that you should prepare yourself, for you are about to become a sacrifice to the lord Jashin," Hidan said, as if it were routine. He drew his scythe.  
"A Jashinist. What temple do you hail from?"  
"Uh… I wasn't expecting you to ask," he gave somewhat of a smile and lowered his scythe. "The southern temple,"  
"Interesting. I've befriended quite a few jashinists from there," Kintaro said, as if trying to be friendly with Hidan, which Hidan found kind of surprising, judging how he treated that guy back in the bathroom.  
"Hah, seriously, what nonsense. No jashinist I know would be friends with a sin-ridden fuck like yourself,"  
"Don't be so sure. I'm actually revered in your little cult's community," Kintaro argued.  
"Hmph. Prove it,"  
Kintaro sighed. "The elder Chiharu was my very first sensei."  
"No way. Heh, if you aren't lying, you'd be pleased to know he is my sensei as well,"  
"Really? How interesting. I was actually headed to a bar just now, so, if you still want to attempt to fight me let's get it over with, cause I'm craving a drink,"  
"… Well, I can't see how I could kill a fellow pupil of my sensei. Chiharu-sensei,"  
"Good. Then you wouldn't mind if I ask you to join me. I haven't talked to a pupil of my old sensei in ages,"  
"I guess… as long as you aren't trying to come on to me or something," Hidan said jokingly.  
"What an annoying sense a humor. Well, are you coming or not?" Kintaro said, sounding annoyed.  
"Yea, yea, I'm coming,"  
A few minutes later, they both walked into a bar and sat at a booth. They ordered some saki and quickly began talking, sharing stories, and becoming friends. As they drink, Hidan began to tell Kintaro about the problems he's been having lately, and opens up to him.  
"You're lucky I'm opening up to you so easily stranger, I don't usually do that with people. and besides, if you had not been a fellow pupil of mine I would have definitely sacrificed you to lord Jashin!" Hidan said.  
"I'm not sure lucky is the right word..."  
"Heh. Lighten up, will yah?," Hidan paused and gazed into his glass of sake. "You know… I have been having some troubles lately,"  
"Oh yea? Like what?" Kintaro asked while taking a sip of his own drink.  
"Well… I've recently been granted immortality, and it's such a fucking pain. I need someone who has experienced immortality… and help me understand it and maintain it, like a guide or something"  
"Why don't you seek advice from one of the Jashinist elders? They are immortal after all,"  
"Well that's the thing. I don't want to stay in this village or at the temple anymore. I wish to leave. I want to cause more destruction somewhere else. This place is too orderly and calm. I want to leave and make a huge fucking mess somewhere else!" Hidan said rather loudly.  
"Would you stop yelling so loud? I bet all of the Yugakure can hear you yell,"  
"You sure have a short temper, huh,"  
Kintaro sighed, "Yea, it runs in the family. Bounty hunting also kinda runs in the family. It all started with my great grandfather Kintaro, who I was named for, and his brother, my great uncle, Kakuzu. They were born 91 years ago,"  
"Kintaro and Kakuzu. They sound like quite a pair," Hidan said, trying to get every last drop of sake out of nearing empty glass.  
"Hah, yea they were. They made quite a mess, too. They even attempted to fight the first hokage together,"  
"Really? Why?" Hidan asked.  
"For money, what else. And to be honest, I also think they did it just do cause disruption and mayhem,"  
"Seriously? That's pretty cool. I wish I could team up with those guys now, I could probably learn from them. But they are most likely dead now,"  
Kintaro paused, "Well actually, one of them is rumored to still be alive,"  
Hidan laughed loudly, "Don't be stupid, they're most definitely old geezers by now, seriously,"  
"Don't you dare call me stupid, ever. If I didn't think it would be useful to you, I wouldn't have brought it up. Besides, there is another rumor surrounding it. The one who is alive is said to be immortal,"  
"Immortal? … If that is true, then my search for a mentor is over. And if it's true that he fought the first Hokage, then I would have a pretty damn admirable mentor at that. Which one of them did you say was alive?"  
"My great uncle Kakuzu is the one you would be looking for. But I warn you, if you think that I have a bad temper, you better not even attempt to go after Kakuzu. He is about the most ill-tempered, cruel man you will ever meet. He is sadistic to the core, and kills anyone he finds annoying. Remember that man who annoyed me back in the bathroom? I'm sure you were spying on me at the time, so you must remember. You see, I spared that man. If Kakuzu were in my place, he'd kill that fat ass without the slightest hesitation. He's actually the one who killed my great grandfather. I don't know the whole story, but I can't imagine it being any more than Kakuzu simply having a problem with my grandfather and acting on his urge to do away with him. I despise Kakuzu… and I wish him dead. When I become a better ninja and bounty hunter, I will seek him out and kill him for what he has done to our family,"  
Hidan went silent for a moment. "Well… do you mind if I go after him? Maybe he isn't as shitty of a guy as you think,"  
"You can if you want… But know that if you get in my way of killing Kakuzu in the future, I will have to kill you too,"  
"Seriously, what's with you? Sheesh, no need to take your grandfathers death so seriously. I bet I was a misunderstanding. Anyways, did you say this guy was a bounty hunter?"  
"Yea, I did. They both started the family tradition,"  
Hidan smiled, "Then I know where to start looking,"  
Hidan got up and shook Kintaro's hand. "Thanks for the booze! I'm a little drunk and tired now, but I'm definitely going to begin my search in the near future. Tomorrow, probably. Well, maybe I'll see you around sometime. Later!"  
Hidan ran out of the bar. Kintaro stood up, "Who said I'd pay for your sake?!" he shouted after him, banging his fist on the table.  
Hidan ran back to his temple on the outskirts of the village and walked into his quarters. He threw his clothes on the floor and jumped into his bed, drunk and tired. He fell asleep instantly, too exhausted to be excited for his journey to find the rumored Kakuzu.


End file.
